Episode 208

Cass Goes on Rants

We ket AI write this recap, Lol:

In this laugh-out-loud episode of The Clopen Effect: A Funny Retail Podcast, Cass shares a wild story about a customer who stood directly in her way — and refused to budge. We break down the awkwardness, the tension, and the hilarity that happens when retail workers are just trying to do their job… and shoppers are just trying to pretend they don’t see you.

Then, we dive into 20ish different types of shoppers we all know and love. Whether you’ve worked retail or you’re just a curious customer, you’ll recognize these familiar personalities:

  • The Laser-Focused List Follower
  • The Meanderer
  • The Storyteller
  • The Cart Curator
  • The Aisle Lurker
  • The Power Shopper
  • The FaceTimer
  • The Price Checker
  • The Zen Shopper
  • The Silent Stalker
  • The Know-It-All
  • The Impulse Buyer
  • The Panic Shopper
  • The Time Traveler
  • The Sample Hunter
  • The Repeat Returner
  • The Buzzing Browser
  • The Blocker
  • The Deal Chaser
  • The Oversharer

We also chat about:

  • How retail employees navigate awkward aisle standoffs
  • Why common courtesy in stores seems to be fading
  • How different shopping styles affect the clopen shift
  • And yes… the shopper who tries to read your name tag mid-confrontation

If you’ve ever worked a closing-to-opening shift (aka a clopen) or felt invisible in a vest and name tag, this one’s for you.

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All material, unless otherwise stated, written and performed by The Clopen Effect.

About the Podcast

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The Clopen Effect
A Funny Retail Podcast

About your hosts

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Meredith Poczkalski

Hey there! I’m Meredith - podcast host, storyteller, and professional over-thinker.
If you love retail chaos, workplace absurdities, and stories that make you laugh at the ridiculousness of it all, The Clopen Effect is for you. It’s the podcast that proves working in retail is basically a social experiment, and we’re all just trying to figure it out, one day at time.
And then there’s Anxiety Makes Me Poop - the podcast where we say the quiet part out loud. Life is messy, anxiety is real, and sometimes the best way to heal is through laughter, real talk, and knowing you’re not alone.
Between the two, we cover everything from Captain Obvious workplace moments to why your brain decides to spiral at 2 AM - all with a mix of humor, honesty, and the occasional TMI moment (because let’s be honest, we’ve all been there).
My goal is simple: to make you laugh, think, and feel a little lighter. So whether you’re tuning in for retail rants or deep talks wrapped in humor, welcome, I’m glad you’re here. Let’s get into it. 🎙️✨
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Cassandra Cassandra

Meet Cassandra – The Heart and Hilarity Behind the Mic 🎙️✨
Cassandra might say she “just shows up,” but let’s be honest - she’s the true entertainment of The Clopen Effect and Anxiety Makes Me Poop Podcasts. With a knack for storytelling, a sharp wit, and the perfect mix of sincerity and humor, she keeps us all laughing while dropping some amazing insights along the way.
She loves her husband, adores her pup Nicky, cherishes her friends, and is always ready for the next adventure. Whether cracking us up with a wild driving story or keeping it real with heartfelt moments, Cassandra brings the magic that makes these podcasts what they are.
Tune in and let her take you on a 'ride' - you never know where the conversation will go, but you know it’ll be worth it. 🎤💛🐶✈️

Thank you!

Thank you for supporting The Clopen Effect! Your generosity powers our journey through the world of retail.
Support the show here!
J
Josh Chavez $10
Love ya Cass!
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Wendy Stuff $10
Cheers!